# Ecumenical live Created: June 19, 2025 10:45 PM Tags: Published # Section 1 ## 1. Should Christians listen to secular music? Christians are the only ones who can get anything good from secular music. Whether they should, depends on who else they’re responsible for. It’s hard to know what would harm another person’s faith. In general, though, by and large, I don’t think Christians should. There are times and places for it, but I think as a Christian matures, the good in secular music becomes less and less worth putting up with the bad. Particularly with children, worldly things shouldn’t be a normal practice, except as needed for teaching. The good in secular music tends to be the quality of the audio itself, or rarely, the message. The bad tends to be the message. Since the music industry is largely driven by the world, secular music largely tells the world’s words. Jesus says the children of Mammon are, in their generation, wiser than the children of Light. This means secular musicians are better at the natural/physical part of music-making, because Mammon drives them like a slave-driver, not like God, who asks without driving, with a still, small voice. We need not require other peer Christians one way or the other, because they will inevitably discover this. However, we should give our advice if we’re asked for it, and use our power if we’re given it, for example, as parents with children. ## 2. Can Christians read dirty books and/or watch dirty TV? Christians are able to do all things, and, as before, are the only ones who are even able to get any good from bad things. But this doesn’t mean they should. Paul says if his eating meat offends his brother, he will never eat meat again. More importantly, it’s a rare occurrence that someone doesn’t carnally enjoy (in their old man) such things. The exposure to it will tempt through lust. The exceptions are so rare as to be foolishness to consider oneself an exception. Not only will the temptation lead to sin, but sin will lead to a falling from Christ. In general, as a Christian matures, “dirty” will become less and less worth the good in such things. For many, the good may be worth it. They have Christian liberty. But they will inevitably hate the bad, given enough days. ## 3. Can Christians cuss and/or say curse words? Christians have the most freedom of any people in word. Yet they will only want to use words for non-deceitful purposes and for good. There may be some places for socially-forbidden language. However, the usefulness of it goes away if it is not kept to vanishingly-rare situations as it’s meant to be. There is good reason Paul says to keep filthy language out of our mouths. One part of it is “in honor preferring one another”. Also, Christians should generally treat words with gravity and sincerity, not saying useless things. As they have been saved by word, they know words have power. As James says, blessings and cursings proceeding out of the same mouth ought not so to be. It’s not as much about the specific words used, as it is about the meaning of them. # Section 2 ## 1. Can Christians drink alcohol? Yes. If they have any weakness to it, they will need to be careful not to get drunken, which is sin, and builds reliance on the drug, leading to falling from Christ. For most modern people, if they want to make their Christian walk easier, the best thing would be total sobriety, with the exception for the Lord’s Supper. Indeed, to receive the salvation in the Lord’s Supper, Christians *must* drink alcohol. God also says in Timothy through Paul to give alcohol to the downtrodden. ## 2. Do Christians have religious dietary restrictions? Not generally, no. He who eats, eats to the Lord and gives thanks. He who eats not: to the Lord he eats not, and gives God thanks. To whoever it is a sin to eat, it is sin. There is one restriction generally given: do you destroy with your food one for whom Christ died? Such that whether a Christian can eat or not is all about their neighbor. As mentioned before, it is difficult to tell what will harm another person’s faith. This requires wisdom and gentleness - wise as serpents, gentle as doves. ## 3. What is fasting, and is it necessary? Fasting is refraining from something you depend on, whether mortally (life or death) or not, and especially regarding food. It is generally done to bring the body into submission, and focus on the spiritual. For that reason, it’s often used to assist efforts for prayer and sorrow. It isn’t required for Christians to do, but they will do it, as Jesus says, the days are coming when the bridegroom will be taken from them, and then will they fast. # Section 3 ## 1. Is kissing permissible while dating? All things are lawful, but not all things are expedient. It is not a question of salvation, only of natural wisdom. It’s like a drug. It leads to more and more intimate of contact, with very difficult slippery way out. As Solomon says, her ways are slippery. The safest option is not at all. ## 2. Can boyfriends and girlfriends live together? This is the same answer as the previous one. It can be done, but by and large, it’s unwise. The effort it would take to live in such a situation rightly is not easily estimated. Let no one think they could handle it. # Section 4 ## 1. What is Biblical submission to your spouse? It is what Jocko Willink describes as good following. Doing everything possible to enact what they wish, while also doing everything possible to make them aware of obstacles to that purpose. When they’re made aware, but still demand it be done, you break the task down to smaller steps and try the first one. Basically “in honor preferring one another” - giving honor in all. Basically, having faith in them - but not in them, but in Christ in them. Then, if all fails, allowing the harm to come to you, without begrudging or blaming them, knowing God is now who they will answer to. “Weaponized obedience”. However, it must be stressed this is only the last resort, as dire a situation as shooting someone. ## 2. Can Christians get divorced? From unbelievers, or sexually cheating. Exceptions exist for these situations. But even in such cases, it must be such a last resort so as to make it unthinkable, like murder. If marriage is to be marriage, divorce must be made murder. # Section 5 ## 1. Is it okay for Christians to watch porn? Not really, no. There are some vanishingly-rare situations, but, as before, the danger is too great to fathom. It is not good to entertain examples. Wisdom, in this case, is to stay as far away as possible. Solomon says to drink waters of your own cistern, and “let her breasts satisfy you at all times”. So perhaps videos of your own spouse. Yet, no one else should ever hear of it. ## 2. Can Christians be homosexual? They can be someone who is homosexual, but to act on it is still as wrong for them, as stealing is for the kleptomaniac, or lying is to the liar. Also, stealing and lying are more deeply rooted in our nature than any perversion of sexuality, having been learned and perfected in our childhood long before puberty.